The Marking of a Life

The following is an older piece that I wrote. I am cheating a bit, but so what? Creed is my five and a half (he won't let me forget the half) year old. He has taught me so much! All I ever needed to know about life I learned FROM a Kindergartner...



I collapsed on the couch one evening. Creed standing at my feet, with a puzzled look on his face asked, “Momma, are you mad?” “No, Creed”, I sighed. “Then, are you frustrated?” was his next question. “No, I am not frustrated.” He took the two steps to reach my face. Reaching down he ran a finger along my frown line in the middle of my forehead. “Are you sure?”
Oh children. You have got to love them. My exhaustion was still there, but so was the realization that I had a lot to be thankful for. I reached out and scooped him up. He deserved a good tickling.
What we do leaves a mark on our lives. It may seem like a little thing at the time, quite natural even, but little by little each action ads up and leaves a deep groove in our environment and hearts. Our actions and words have weight that changes the perception of how people view us, relationships, life. It matters, the little things. It matters the “little lies” we tell people. It matters the small indiscretions that we reason are nobody’s business but ours. It matters.
With each choice me make, good and bad, we form reality; the reality of our relationships with our children, our friends, our social circles. Our deviant actions overrule our desire for healthy relationships and happy endings. We may think we can juggle all of those ruses, but in truth, you might be able to for a while, but in the end your life is on the floor bouncing out of control. The little things matter.
We have all made bad choices at times, horrific ones even. But, it is in the consistency of continuing to make bad choices that leaves the scar. Bad choices can be overcome and replaced with a determination to choose right, even with the little things. If you have found yourself where it has become easy to discount those little things, I would be worried. Integrity begins with the small. Losing integrity in the simplicity of our daily choices leaves little strength in the foundation of life.
In the end, the deception is on us. The markings of our choices become more visible with each repetition. It marks us, just like that frown line in the middle of my forehead. Over time, my frowns and frustrations have left their mark on me! As I see it, I wish I had more laugh lines than frown wrinkles. Maybe that is how we should mark our lives; making the choices that mark us with the remnants of joy, instead of the frustration of shame.